Yesterday I got news that my heart is finally back to its normal function. That means sooo much to me! I still have medication to take, but now that I know I can actually continue on with my life, I feel extremely inclined to spend these last days of rest, actually resting and reflecting…BIG TIME!
In the weirdest way imaginable, this experience has been one of the best experiences of my life. Of course the physical pain was no fun but there is nothing that compares to how grateful I am for the personal growth that I have experienced. I am no longer afraid… afraid to live, afraid to die, afraid to fail, afraid to be great, etc… I am no longer afraid… WOW…. I feel like that force that guides and controls all things in life and in the universe has had this planned for me looooonnngggg before I woke up sick that fateful morning. And I couldn’t be happier in life right now! I used to live my life trying to achieve because I was afriad to fail. But no longer being afraid means that I am fully alive. I am aware and am living in a truly mindful, wakeful state. It means that all the things that are meant for my life will be and that I will follow the road to receive/achieve them with an effortless ease. I know that my life is being led by something greater. I know that I am apart of something greater. Seeing the trees on my morning walks, playing with my dogs, or even just sharing a meal with my family show me that. Realizing that you are great and that you have a place in this big, beautiful dance means that there is nothing in this world to set you back. There is nothing that can get in your way other than yourself. I’ve learned that when you accept yourself and your situation just as it is, it releases you from the flaws. You begin to see the light in most things and learn to choose your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Don’t get me wrong…I’m no guru or highly religious person. I have just learned to be in tune with myself and therefore better in tune with the world around me. I’ve learned that it’s all in how you look at things. I could have easily been miserable and wondered why did this happen to me?? I could have wondered with a heavy heart (no pun intended, lol). Instead I CHOSE to wonder what this new adventure would mean for me. I tried to detach myself from the idea of my body getting worse or better and I focused on the moments. I focused on the moments just as they were and I realized even in some of our darkest moments, to be fully present, means to know that everything will be ok. Everything is always ok, in a weird, mystical way. I accepted that even if I were to die, everything would be ok and that even then, maybe I’d have the job of being my family’s guardian angel. Seemed like a pretty good deal, lol. Who wouldn’t want to be an angel??!! And as for my family’s hurt, I’d be there to comfort them in a much larger way. (I’m laughing and crying as I’m writing this, lol…It’s an extremely emotional thought for me, but one that I had truly accepted.)
So here’s the lesson….when you accept things as they are, detach yourself from the future outcomes, and just live, present with your whole heart, your life will be so much fuller, so much grander, so much more peaceful. You will be so much more fearless because you’ll realize that in your moments, there is nothing to it, but to do it…(whatever the big “it” is for you, lol). Your “it” could be pursing a dream, or choosing to be happy, or choosing to have faith, or choosing to take responsibility, etc…You choose your life. You choose your level of joy and peace. Living present in your moments will help you realize that….
I hope that this inspires or enlightens someone. That’s one of the biggest reasons I share this stuff. As for the shoot, Jasmine’s goal with photography has always been to capture the moments. She was way ahead of me on realizing that, lol. So check out our “moments”… and feel the good vibes, lol!
Jasmine (@JasmineAlston): Dress – Revamped Boutique. Bracelets- Vintage.
Jade (@JadeAlston): Dress – Revamped Boutique. Necklace- Vintage. Watch- Fossil